When personalisation goes wrong: Common mistakes and how to keep it human

Personalisation is not new anymore; people are used to seeing their name in emails or getting product suggestions. What they now look for is relevance. A message should feel like it came at the right time, for the right reason. If it doesn’t, it leaves a poor impression.

The goal of personalisation is simple: make people feel understood. But when it goes wrong, it can feel fake, forced or even uncomfortable. Let’s look at where businesses often slip, and how to avoid it.

1. Using names but nothing more

This is the most common mistake. A message starts with “Hi David,” and after that, it sounds like it was written for thousands of people at once.

Why it fails
People can tell when the name is the only personalised part. It feels like decoration, not relevance. It doesn’t show that you understand their situation.

How to do it better
Connect with action, not just identity. If someone:

• Signed up recently → send a simple starter guide
• Viewed a product → share comparisons or FAQs
• Booked a call → explain what happens next

Real personalisation should answer the unspoken question: “What should I do now?”

2. Wrong or outdated data

Even a well-written message loses value if it is based on wrong or old data. This happens more often than people think.

What it looks like

• Emails with wrong names
• Offers for products already purchased
• Birthday messages sent after the date
• Targeting new users with advanced tutorials
• Treating long-time users like strangers

Impact
These small mistakes break trust. Customers feel unseen, and engagement drops. So to fix it we can:

• Clean our marketing and customer data often
• Remove old tags and stale segments
• Use recent behaviour instead of old assumptions
• Track real activity such as last login, recent clicks, current plan and more.

3. Poor timing or irrelevant message

A message can be accurate and well-written but still fail because the timing is off.

Examples

• Sending upsell offers right after a support issue
• Recommending a product just after purchase
• Following up too early or too late
• Reminders when a decision has already been made

Why timing matters
When the moment is wrong, the message feels disconnected. Customers see it as pressure instead of help.

How to improve timing
Before sending anything, ask:
“Is this helpful right now?”
If not, wait, adjust or change the approach. Personalisation should follow the customer’s pace, not the seller's.

4. Too much tracking or detail

People accept that businesses collect data. But when messages mention very specific behaviour, it can feel uncomfortable.

What feels intrusive

• Referencing the exact time they viewed a page
• Mentioning multiple products they clicked
• Suggesting things based on private interests
• Using pushy language like “We noticed you were…”

Better way to say it
Use lighter language:
“Thought this might help based on what you viewed earlier.”
Or
“Others who saw this also found this useful.”

The key idea
Personalisation should guide, not watch. When customers sense pressure, they pull away.

5. Over-automation with no human check

Automation is useful. But when it runs without oversight, messages lose their human tone. Mistakes go unnoticed until the customer points them out.

Risks of unchecked automation

• Robotic replies during sensitive situations
• Wrong tone after a support ticket
• Messages repeating too many times
• Irrelevant triggers that were not updated

How to fix it

• Keep workflows, but add human review stages
• Check your tone for high-impact messages
• Update triggers regularly
• Flag exceptions for manual sending

Automation should save time, not remove judgement.

6. No real value for the customer

Personalisation fails when it is used only to push sales. The message may look polished, but if it doesn’t help the customer, it gets ignored.

How customers feel

• Sceptical: “What do I have to gain from this?”
• Confused: “Why are they telling me this?”
• Unappreciated: “This is just an ad.”

What makes it valuable

• Solves a real problem
• Offers a next step
• Saves time
• Guides a decision
• Reduces effort

One simple test
Ask: If I were the customer, would this help me?
If the answer is no, it’s not personalisation. It's noise.

7. Not clear about why you reached out

Even when the message is relevant, people still want to know why they received it. When that context is missing, they hesitate to act.

Simple fix
Add one clear line:

• “You downloaded our guide last week, so here's a checklist that goes with it.”
• “Since you attended the session, here’s the recording and FAQ.”
• “You asked for pricing details, so here's a comparison table.”

Clarity builds trust. Trust builds engagement.

Final thought  

Personalisation does not mean knowing everything about a customer. It means understanding what matters right now. When used well, it saves time, solves problems and builds comfort. When overdone or mistimed, it creates distance.

The best personalisation feels natural. It doesn’t try to impress. It simply makes life easier for the person at the other end.